I crossed the 35 yr mark a few weeks ago. It came and went. And triggered the annual reflection. This year around I planned a bit in advance. I wanted to celebrate. Celebrate the person I was, how far I’d come, all that I’d done. So I went and bought myself a new car. And subtly got H to book me a spa treatment, you know, for the weary weary bones. And then upped it by getting myself an annual membership. So far, so good. I wont add in how I was bone tired again by the end of the day, or that I sadly realised I didnt really have any friends in Pune to go out with.
The following weeks brought the annual focal cycle and a weirdly coincidental spate of stories on FB, blogs I follow, and H’s circle about folks who making it big and living THE life. And my heart sank. Slowly at first. Till it hit the bottom of the ocean and decided to stay there. Each day I’d find myself comparing me, me life, to XYZ who seemed way way ahead. I felt miserable. To put it mildly.
Ok, depressed, dejected, a failure. You get the picture. The travelling, sleepless nights and migraines, all ganged up against me.
So there I was feeling all sad…
And I hear that an uncle just bought a Harley Davidson. At 50+. Yep. Coz he felt like. And I burst out laughing. Yes. That’s the way to live. Work hard. Party hard. Do the things that matter. To you.
Jindagi, jeene ke liye hai.
So I’m now trying to tell myself, that it’s ok. It’s ok I didnt get that raise, or that I havent yet bought a Harley or that mansion by the sea. That’s its ok that I cant quite retire at 35, or feature in the economic times, or got a 100 likes on my FB update, or 2000 comments on my blog. Or that I dont have working vacations in Goa. That it’s ok “whatever I havent yet done”.
But I do love what I have done so far. And that’s a lot. I’ve lived a rich life (ok, other than the time I was moping ;) And I do have a lot to be grateful for. Afterall, how many people can boast of a waterfall in their backyard, or get to come home to these amazing views; or a boundless chattering bundle of energy 5 yr old.
Listen ye ol’ heart, time to get up and get going, doing the things that matter.
- Day 6: It’s the small things that matter. (andyapcomputerscience.wordpress.com)
- Little things matter (wakhilekunene.wordpress.com)
- The Simple Things Are What Matter (teabylamplight.wordpress.com)