We all wanted to be valued. To be appreciated. To be told so. And to be shown so. We yearn for it. It’s human nature.

And yet we let people treat us otherwise. And yet we treat people otherwise.

Whether it’s that project you completed. Or the meal you cooked. The promotion or raise you didnt get. Or the hours of cleaning and putting away the laundry. Big tasks. Small tasks.

You do the work. You help. You’re there. You handle situations. You do the ground work. You keep things moving. You’re there for everyone.
At the end of the day, you’re expecting a word of appreciation, something acknowledging your effort, your work, your time and sweat. Or perhaps a ‘thank you’ for the normally thankless everyday jobs. The mundane, but time and effort consuming, chores and tasks of everyday.
And there’s nothing. No one, it seems, noticed. Or even if they did.. so what.
And we let people get away with it. We LET them take us for granted. We LET them walk over us. And then we feel miserable.
Why. What stops us. From stopping them.
What stops us from treating ourselves with the respect, concern and appreciation we want from others? More often than not, we dont. I find more women are guilty of this than men. We’re too caught up in providing for everyone else. Too caught up in the every day small tasks to look at the bigger picture. We dont even think of asking for ourselves. Unless we’re over the end of the rope. Until it’s too late.
Is it fear? Fear of loosing what? Fear of being thought self centered, not giving enough, not accommodating enough, too demanding? Fear, that perhaps, I’m not worth it really? Lack of belief, in myself.

For all my feminist attitude, I find I’m guilty of this now more than ever. Of not demanding my fair share of the attention, the appreciation, rewards. Of not demanding that my work, my efforts be valued. Of not asking for more. Of under valuing myself. Of stepping back so that I’m not called demanding, self centred.

I still hold on to the belief that my work, my effort, my love, should speak for itself. I should not have to ‘make’ others see it.  It’s stupid in this time and age. Where attention spans have shrunk to 1 sec or less. Where there are ten thousand things jostling for everyone’s attention. Hoping, expecting that I, my contributions, my efforts, my labour of love will be noticed, and appreciated, is stupid. Especially coupled with my tendency to labour silently behind the scenes. To put forth just the end result, and hide the million things that had to be taken care of to get there.

It’s foolish. But it’s my DNA. How do I change it? How do I ensure, I’m valued? Most of all, I’m angry at myself, for under valuing my self.


One thought on “Valued.

  1. Pingback: Simple Things | KXW Blog

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