Hadnt realised how much I’d built into the online identity. How Google and Facebook and Smartphones had become as essential as air, food and water. I never used them much. Only bare minimum.
Then I found out my phone and accounts were being monitored.
And it felt violated.
Reading “Committed“. Quite an analysis of the history and evolution of marriage :)
Wondering – are my/our/this generation’s expectations from love and marriage way too high?
Over the last few decades, we’re moving to a mode/culture, where the individuals choose their spouse. And increasingly we want this decision to be based on “love”. We also want this person to be our partner for life. In every way. We expect – and want – them to be our best friend; the perfect lover, the perfect provider/homemaker. And ofcourse, the perfect person.
We want them to understand us. To ‘know’ us. To be there for us. Always. We get upset when they’re less than perfect; when they dont love us the way we want to be loved; when they arent there for us – the way we want; when they have habits that we dont like; when they fail to read our minds, or our moods; when they dont think the way we do. We forget – they’re different people.
Some quotes from the book
“If you are a Hmong woman, then you dont necessarily expect your husband to be your best friend, your most intimate confidant, your emotional advisor, your intellectual equal, your comfort in
times of sorrow. Hmong women instead get a lot of that emotional support from other women. ““In Hmong society, for instance, men and women dont spend all that much time together. Yes, you have a spouse. Yes, you have sex with that spouse. Yes, your fortunes are tied together. Yes, there might well be love. But aside from that men’s and women’s lives are quite firmly divided into realms of their gender specific tasks.”
The Hmong sound like India 50 or a 100 years ago. I’m beginning to believe they were on to something.
Oh yes, I am an emotional creature. And I love it!
Check this out : I am an emotional creature
Why did we move away from feeling to thinking?
Why do we always want to be rational and reasonable and logical?
With the appraisal season in full swing, you can see people falling into 3 groups. There are those that treat it as just another process to be gotten over with. There are those that think their results will speak for themselves and that’s that. And then there are those that have carefully built up to this moment, making sure that they not only deliver, but also that they are valued. Guess who’s going to be happier come pay day?
Like in any business, it’s not just about having the best product. It’s about perceived value. How much your customer values the product/service you provide. And how well you’re able to make the customer see that value. The customer could be your boss, your family, or yourself. And no, the value is not self evident.
That’s reality.
And another part of that reality is – no one is going to value you, unless you stand up and make sure they do.
At home. And at the work place.
How well do you negotiate your worth?
Especially with yourself.
