Hadnt realised how much I’d built into the online identity. How Google and Facebook and Smartphones had become as essential as air, food and water. I never used them much. Only bare minimum.
Then I found out my phone and accounts were being monitored.
And it felt violated.
A weekend getaway. To Panchgani. During the Dushera holidays :)
And it’s taken me all this while to get down to posting about it. I want to capture the memories. Before they get buried deep along with all the other travels.
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Highlights:
This spin on Dag Hammarskjold’s quote sums up well my plan for 2012:
Be Quieter, Simpler, Warmer & Firmer.
Smile more. Fret less.
Share.
Play.
Read.
Travel.
Dance.
Write.
A strange emptiness hits me every festival season.
Growing up, I hated rituals. And I made it a habit to rebel against every tradition.Though we didnt have too many. Being a “Jain”, there were no poojas done at home for any festivals. The rituals, if they can be so called, involved going to the temple for festivals, and huge amounts of special cooking by Mom. And part of the temple ‘ritual’ would be to wear new or special clothes and be on your best behavior. Over the years of living in different cities by myself, I’d stopped even that. A festival holiday was just the same as any other Saturday or Sunday. Just another holiday.
Now that I’m a mother myself – and one that prefers to eat out rather than slave over the hot stove – I find myself searching for rituals and traditions. And missing them.
What is it that I miss about something that I’ve never known or valued – well… .the anticipation, the excitement, the preparation. The belonging. Feeling a “part” of the festive season. And passing on those feelings to my son.
All through the Ganapathi festival I kept ‘planning’ to be a part of it, to take my son out and show him this stuff. But I didnt. It came and went while we were too busy at work, and life in general. Then Navarathri & Dushera – I hear the buzz over the lunch table and the blogosphere – Bengalis celebrating Durga pooja, pandal hopping and discussing the best ‘bhog’ and pandals; the Maharashtrians talking about Kojagiri and some other ritual where they keep a devi at home with special pooja etc for 9 days… and I feel sad at not having any such ‘festivities’ at home. And I make a face, and let it go. With 12 hours a day spent out of the house, who has the time and energy to do those? Not me for sure. And if not me, then who?
The Hubby is 2 steps ahead of me. Has no inclination what-so-ever. And if I mention it, there’s a calm look and a “er, why are you taking on all of that. Lets just chill”.
Good advise.
So for this Duserra, I’m going to keep it simple. Put up some flower garlands around the house (the huge piles of flowers being sold by the roadside are really really tempting ;) and take off for a nice long weekend somewhere :)
ps: just remembered this post from 2 years ago. Nothing’s changed.
Reading “Committed“. Quite an analysis of the history and evolution of marriage :)
Wondering – are my/our/this generation’s expectations from love and marriage way too high?
Over the last few decades, we’re moving to a mode/culture, where the individuals choose their spouse. And increasingly we want this decision to be based on “love”. We also want this person to be our partner for life. In every way. We expect – and want – them to be our best friend; the perfect lover, the perfect provider/homemaker. And ofcourse, the perfect person.
We want them to understand us. To ‘know’ us. To be there for us. Always. We get upset when they’re less than perfect; when they dont love us the way we want to be loved; when they arent there for us – the way we want; when they have habits that we dont like; when they fail to read our minds, or our moods; when they dont think the way we do. We forget – they’re different people.
Some quotes from the book
“If you are a Hmong woman, then you dont necessarily expect your husband to be your best friend, your most intimate confidant, your emotional advisor, your intellectual equal, your comfort in
times of sorrow. Hmong women instead get a lot of that emotional support from other women. ““In Hmong society, for instance, men and women dont spend all that much time together. Yes, you have a spouse. Yes, you have sex with that spouse. Yes, your fortunes are tied together. Yes, there might well be love. But aside from that men’s and women’s lives are quite firmly divided into realms of their gender specific tasks.”
The Hmong sound like India 50 or a 100 years ago. I’m beginning to believe they were on to something.
